"Having" something denotes possession. I have a car = there is a car in my possession; I bought it, I put gas in it, I drive it, I pay for upkeep and insurance. Having a story differs in some ways. When someone says, "I have a story to tell;" or, "That's my story and I'm stickin' to it," that person means, "This story doesn't belong to me like a car or a piece of jewelry. The stories we tell do not "belong" to us in the same way; they are ways for you and me to communicate things that have happened to us.
For example, I once read a story by C.S. Lewis, called Until we have Faces. It's a wonderful story about a young woman who is deformed from birth and has to wear a mask to cover her deformity. One day she finally realizes that her face does not determine who she is; it's what is inside that is more important. At that moment, she takes off her mask and never wears it again.
Now, I can say, and I have many times, that is my story to tell, although I did not imagine it or write it. So powerful is that story that it gives life to my own experiences of life. I tell the story to others because I think it is powerful enough to give life to others as well. Others can claim the story as their own! Yet, the story remains one of C.S. Lewis.
Each person has a story about her or his life to share. Everyone alive deserves my attention as she or he tells that story - and, who knows, I may just learn something about myself, about others, about God from listening.
When Nate Frambach claims that humanity is made of stories, I think he's getting at that very simple point: each human being has a story to tell and each other human being can take the time to listen to it. In the telling and the listening, we re-claim our common humanity. You see, when I take the time to listen to someone else's story, without judgment or criticism, I change. It's hard to judge someone when I see someone as a fellow human being!
I once had a teacher who had a very challenging relationship with a fellow on a board on which she served. Every time my teach would walk into the board room, she would tense up and fill with anxiety. She knew that within a short period of time, that offending individual would upset her. Then one day she consciously decided to say to herself, "This person is a human being like me, and worthy of God's love as well as mine." She started saying that to herself as she drove. When she arrived at the meeting, she was still saying that mantra. In a short period of time, just like clockwork, the colleague said something that offended her. This time, however, she didn't tense up; she changed her whole demeanor toward the man and was able to talk with him during the meeting - something that, in the before-time was practically impossible.
When I hear stories like that, they are moments to pause and reflect on my own life. How could I adopt that same attitude? Do I really need to hate or antagonize others because I disagree or because the other offends me?
I don't know about you, but I am a "storied one". Stories not only remind me who I am, they also remind me that others are part of my story. We all know that when we include others in the story, the whole ending changes, doesn't it?
What do you think?
Peace,
Tim
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